I understand what Matthew means in this post, and I’m 100% sympathetic to others who share his view. It is not mine (you can find mine on Twitter). The sort of violence that Chris Brown perpetrated on Rihanna’s body is inexcusable, and the argument can and has easily been made by many that he’s not only been underpunished for it, but perhaps even rewarded for “getting over it” with his double performance on the Grammys last weekend. Matthew’s own opinion on pop narrative’s redemptive powers—”if you bring the hits, we’ll put up with your shit“—are interesting in this light. If R. Kelly had been convicted of urinating on a 16-year old, would subsequent hits have exonerated him? What if Michael Jackson was found guilty of child molestation? Would a second Thriller have healed the world? If Chris Brown puts out a critically-acclaimed album (of course, by Matthew’s standards) or a string of legendary singles, is all forgiven?

Narratives are tricky things. Which was why I was so taken aback by everyone’s reframing of the recent news that Rihanna might have Chris Brown guest on a forthcoming remix. This rumor was reframed not as the action of a human being with her own agency, but as part of her career’s narrative (which is right there in the title of Matthew’s post, and which critic Brandon Soderberg rightly points out in the comments), or other popular understandings of redemption. No matter how much we may hate the abuser, slotting an abused woman into a pre-ordained narrative for her (public or private) healing based on speculation about what’s best for her, and/or the public at large, is irresponsible, and sets a bad precedent for the relationship between art and morality. I don’t think any of us want to start dictating terms to pop stars, do we?

Rihanna is, I hasten to underscore, a human being who has been through a horrible ordeal, one which is all too familiar to any number of unfamous women every hour of every day. And after the Grammys, Rihanna very well may be having to live through the ordeal again, as everyone on Twitter situates her yet again as the victim to Brown’s unpunished abuser. Though of course my ignorance as to domestic abuse delimits me from anything but the merest speculation, it’s impossible for me to think that any abused woman would want even the most well-intentioned group of strangers telling her over and over what they think is best for her to do in terms of her relationship with her abuser after the abuse has taken place.

Human feelings are much more complicated than the narratives we try to fit them into. If we’re willing to allow pop stars to thrill us with unpredictable art, we have to grant them the right to make their own artistic decisions—provided they don’t directly hurt anyone else, of course—and react accordingly. We have to understand that though they are public figures who may figure into the aspirations of countless others, they are also human beings, and the most important response to their actions is careful deliberation about the issues raised, not instantaneous (and condescending) condemnation that eliminates their perspective altogether.